One year ago today I married my best friend and love of my life! :)
I can't believe it's already been a year -- sometimes it seems like our wedding was just yesterday! I feel like our life has been such an incredible whirlwind so far, but that's how it's been ever since we met so I'm used to it by now ;) Ever since Jonathan came into my life I feel like he opened my mind to the world...before I met him I was so sheltered and scared to go outside of my comfort zone. I grew up very protected and shielded from a lot which isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just meant that I had gotten used to other people making decisions for me. By the time I got to 18 or 19 I was hitting that point in my life where I wanted to branch out and have new experiences but could never figure out how to get there because I simply had never done anything by myself before!
When I met Jonathan he was 27 and I was 19. We were total opposites...nobody liked us being together, at all! Back then he was a total "bad boy" in my teenage eyes, ha ha ha! Maybe it's hard to imagine now because you guys mostly all know his sensitive side but that's not how he seemed on first impression. He was that older guy who drove a fast motorbike, wore his leathers everywhere he went, smoked, had tattoos and *gasp* even had facial hair! I on the other hand, was the ultimate good girl...I didn't smoke or drink, always got good grades in school, was elected prefect every year, played piano, and never ever disappointed my parents. I was a total goody-goody...ha ha ha :)
However I was also (at the time) frustrated, unhappy and beginning to feel like my life was being lived by somebody else. I was in a crappy relationship and had just started a college course that I had no interest in. Everything I did was to keep someone else happy...I stayed with my ex-boyfriend because I thought my friends expected it of me, and I went to college because I thought that's what my parents wanted. Jonathan was one of the most refreshing and wonderful things that could ever have happened to me and after about a month of getting to know each other, I fell head over heels.
I remember telling him all of my secrets, my passions, my dreams for the future and feeling so shocked when he would sit back and say "so, what's stopping you?". I'd come up with all kinds of excuses like I always did, "oh my parents wouldn't be happy" or "my friends would disapprove" or "what would people think of me...I can't do that" and he would just laugh and tell me, you can do whatever you want to do. It's your life. What do you want to do?
Jonathan is the reason why I've become a braver person (and I'm still not that brave...I have a long way to go!). He is the reason I left college and went on to pursue a career in fashion styling. He's the reason I moved to Munich to intern at Ralph Lauren...the reason I moved to London to study fashion, the reason I started YouTube and the reason I'm currently working at my dream job. But most of all, he is one of the major reasons why I'm happy. I'm not going to lie, it was absolutely terrifying making those changes in my life. I lost most of my friends and my dad & my older brother were initially very upset...they thought they needed to protect me and Jonathan was scary to them because he was different, older, and nobody they had ever met before so naturally they were afraid I would get hurt.
I would get so upset when my dad would tell me "this is not the man I thought you'd end up with" because I knew he was dying and I didn't want him to be disappointed in me. I tried my hardest over the next year to make him see the man that I fell in love with, the Jonathan who was in fact a sweet, caring and sensitive guy underneath all the tattoos & facial hair! Now I am encouraged and satisfied in knowing that by the end of my dad's life they had gotten to know each other much better and had actually forged a strong relationship. I saw them laugh together all the time and my dad even confessed to me that he was so happy to see how well Jonathan & my mom got along. I knew it was really important to him.
(Okay this part is very hard for me to write and I'm trying, yet failing to keep the tears from falling so please bear with me!)
Jonathan was not there when my dad passed away...he was still in England and I had flown back to Ireland to be with my family in his final moments of life. So the next time Jonathan saw him was in a coffin in the funeral home. It means so much to me that the last thing Jonathan ever said to my dad was when he leant over, touched his hand and whispered "I'll look after her now".
These are all of the reasons why I love Jonathan. I am so happy that he is my husband and that we're living our lives just the way we want, not driven by anybody else. He will always be a huge inspiration to me. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him :) <3
Happy 1 Year Anniversary Jofus ;)
I love you so much! xoxo