Don't Judge A Book By Its Instagram Feed

Top - Abercrombie & Fitch (similar top), Boots - Toms, Jacket - G-Star, Jeans - Abercrombie & Fitch, Vest - Zoa NY (same top in metallic blue)

Lately I've been feeling totally overwhelmed...it's almost as if my life has descended into this whirlwind of total chaos and there are times when I feel like I'm going to hit breaking point. No filter & no fakery here...you all know I like to keep it real! Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, adore my husband and care deeply about my six crazy dogs. But sometimes running a business together while simultaneously trying to raise a family and not lose your sh*t at least 12x a day is hard. Adding to all of that was the fact that we were delivered 4000 books on our doorstep which needed to be signed over one weekend. The same weekend that we had family over...suddenly our kitchen erupted into what looked like a sea of books & sharpies. I'd be lying if I said we didn't all feel like murdering each other by Sunday evening. 

Hopefully this is just temporary (I know deep down that it is) and although there are 150 other things going on that I don't share on here because I choose to keep them private, I just want you all to know that not everything you see on social media is real. Everyone has problems, EVERYONE! You might see someone's "perfect" outfit picture on Instagram and while it looks like they have their sh*t together behind that smile is a whole story you know nothing about. I have been struggling lately...my life feels out of control and I hate that. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things but working from home means you never really switch off from "mummy mode". I'm not complaining and I am obviously grateful for everything I have. But let's be totally honest here, no matter who you are or what your situation is raising little people is HARD WORK. There are days when my children break me...they wear me into the ground and I feel like I'm doing a rubbish job. Sometimes I don't understand how the people you love SO much with all of your heart can also break you into a million pieces that you just want to sit on your kitchen floor and sob. 

I also kind of know that's normal! That everyone has days or weekends like this (or even weeks!). It's just important to remember not to judge a book by its cover, if you'll pardon the very appropriately timed pun. I want you to know that nobody's life is picture perfect and it's okay to feel inadequate or like your life is a total mess. In fact that's exactly what I feel like 99% of the time...a hot (the sweaty kind, not the attractive one) mess! But a problem shared is a problem halved, right? And I hope that by spreading a lot more of this "honesty" message in a world of pretty Instagram filters and themed squares showcasing the highlights of people's lives, we can come together as a positive, loving community that supports each other. Who's with me?


On a totally separate note, here's a cute video Eduardo and I made together...it's his three year update or an (attempted) interview with my three and a half year old! Hope you it makes you smile. 

39 comments

  1. Love that you keep it real Anna �� you’re doing an amazing job raising your kids! Keep it up, I hope to start a family soon and it’s refreshing and comforting to hear you talk honestly and openly about life as a working mum x

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  2. I love you Anna xx I really want to make a blog but my life isn’t that interesting. I have 3 platforms; YouTube, Instagram and twitter x here is the list of my names:
    Instagram: @sacconedawsontexts
    Twitter: @betonutter
    YouTube: Beth Rutter

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  3. This is so true. I only have one child and I feel like I am going to loose it probably once a day. It's a lot of work. People are so quick to judge and compare, but everyone has hard times. Just remember that everything will pass. I hope everything gets better soon <3

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  4. Anna I love you and your family xx I want to be a blogger and a vlogger. If you could contact me on Instagram: @sacconedawsontexts twitter: @nutterbeto and check out my edits on my YouTube channel: Beth Rutter. I can’t wait to see you in Cardiff xx

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  5. Me too Anna! I have 3 children and I have days like these all the time it’s nice to know I’m not alone. I love them but I also do a lot of under my breath swearing and eye rolling! My youngest has just turned 8 months and I’m feeling a lot less overwhelmed than a few months ago! I find school really overwhelming as well - so much to remember!!! Love you Anna!

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  6. I always love your honesty, Anna. You always keep it real, and it's normal to have days that you just want to lose your shit all together. It's always been fact that the people you love the most have the most power to break your heart into a thousand pieces.

    My truth right now is that I'm at rock bottom. I am 4 days away of having to go to court for Eviction from my apartment. I can't afford the rent... or anything else, for that matter. All of my credit cards are over the limits. My income is not enough to pay everything I owe. My bills are defaulting, my cell phone got shut off, my bank account is in the negative all the time, I can't afford groceries or gas in my car. To top it off, my best friend who is a literal angel is really sick and they can't figure out what's wrong with him. Out of sheer desperation, I started a GoFundMe page that is going absolutely nowhere (click here to read my story (https://www.gofundme.com/StopEvictionandRestoreUtilities). :-(

    I don't know how I'll survive the coming weeks in my current situation. There doesn't seem to be an end in sight. So, yeah... times are hard. But know that I love you, Anna, and support everything your going through. *Hugs*

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  7. Hi Anna! I’m new here but watch all your YouTube videos and love your ‘little’ family. You are doing an amazing job and it’s so clear how much you love all your children, Jonathan and all the little furry ones! You’ve got this!

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  8. Thanks for keeping it real, Anna! Loved your video with Eduardo, he’s so adorable! Can’t wait to meet you in Bluewater on Saturday :)

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  9. Anna , what a real person !!!!! Huge respect for you and your incredibly gorgeous family ,you always bring people back down to earth and that is what draws me to your channel (that and your stunning children) ❤️❤️

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  10. I totally get weeks like that and find life very overwhelming. As mothers we put far to much pressure on ourselves to keep up with every other mum on Instagram, it's depressing some days. But, those mini beasts we created love us dearly even when they are driving us insane. You're doing a fab job!

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  11. Very well said 🙌🏼 I’ve just started a blog about mental health, and messages like these are so important to share. I both use & love instagram, but it is important to understand that they are just stylised snapshots into someone’s life. I hope whatever else you have going on in your life doesn’t cause you too much stress. Sending you hugs.. 🤗

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  12. I get this 100%! I have four children aged 7 - 7 months and some days I just want to walk out the door, breathe some fresh air and clear my mind. It’s hard work raising children. There’s so much we want for them, personalities to develop, all of which are different, trying to raise them to be empathetic and helpful, good people and then they do something to their sibling and you’re like “where am I going wrong”. We are blessed with amazing children in our lives and we are allowed to feel overwhelmed sometimes, I won’t judge and no-one else should either! We may only see a glimpse into your life but by the way your children look at you and Johnathon and how you interact with each other, everyone can tell you are wonderful parents.

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  13. Anna, after a series of bereavements, brother to leukaemia, mum to cancer and dad with heart failure, I found myself in a deep black hole of depression. There’s a long way for me to go but there is one thing that helps bring a little escapism to my life, and that is catching up with your family every day. To know that you suffer the ups and downs that we ordinary folks have, just makes me appreciate the effort you and Jonathan put in all the more. Perhaps when you are feeling a little fed up, just remember there are so many people who care about you and though you will never know us all personally, your contribution to our lives is invaluable and we thank you for it.

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  14. So honest! We do judge so easily and would be surprised by the reality of the people we compare ourselves to. With age you start to drop the curtain which quite frankly I am enjoying. I just dont care what people think anymore (well most times!)

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  15. Rebekah... thank you so much. It means the world to me, more than I can possibly say. <3

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  16. YES, Yes, yes!!! Life is hard. Juggling a million things is hard. Some days (maybe weeks) we feel like we are totally rocking it....but wondering if maybe that's because we forgot something. And then there are weeks we feel like we are drowning in the million and one things we have to do. Making lists are the best thing for me. If it's on a list, it's out of my head and I can focus better. You are doing amazing and as always.....this to shall pass! Keep rocking it!!! You got this! ~Laura

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  17. Susan_J I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. What a tough time. If you saw my previous post, I'm at a very low point now, too. Though for different reason, it still feels like it's never going to end. But the love and kindness of people in the world still exist, and it helps make bleaker situations a little more tolerable. I'll be sending you virtual hugs & love.

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  18. I’m with you 100%! This world needs some love and kindness. And I won’t ever comment something ugly on anyone’s social media!! And everything will calm down in about 20 years. KIDDING!! ;D

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  19. Hi lovely,
    So good to see you blogging again :) The hard times will pass, stay strong you've got this!! Like you said, it's 100% normal. Life would be pretty damn bland if we didn't have those low moments to rise from. We all go through things that challenge us.
    Looking fabulous as ever!
    Lots of love
    Lottie xx

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  20. Thank goodness for you Anna! You're always so brave and honest. It really makes a difference to people to know someone like you goes through these times too. I think all mums do but no one says anything. Hope it all calms down for you soon. Don't be afraid to let some things go or get more support. However it feels you're doing amazing ❤️❤️❤️

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  21. Anna you are amazing. I loved reading this and love that ypu and Jonathan can show through the camera what amazing caring real people you are. Keep dping what your doing because your amazing. If i could be half the mother you are id be happy xxxx

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  22. I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling Anna! And you are not alone. In my experience, raising one child is exhausting enough. You manage to raise 3, and work full time, more than full time in fact!! You’re incredible. And I know it feels like you’re doing a rubbish job sometimes, I’ve felt like that several times.. I think everyone in a similar situation does. But your children are happy, healthy and clean, so you’re doing exactly what you should. Try and remember that you aren’t alone when it all gets too much. We’re all just winging it. There are crap times, but also amazing times. Chin up lovely. You’re doing an amazing job xx

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  23. I love this post, thanks for sharing X

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  24. I talked about something similar in my vlog the other day. It’s so easy to paint a perfect picture online but real life isn’t like that. I had a total meltdown and debated leaving it in because It wasn’t a happy perfect moment but decided to keep it in because I think we need more honesty online these days xxx
    https://youtu.be/eJd2IBZis94

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  25. If you get really stressed and worn down it'd be great for you and Jonathan to go away for the weekend or if you don't want to leave the kids for to long just go for the night or even just the day

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  26. Thank you for posting this! Lately I have been feeling really down and worn out too. I see everyone else and I think "oh they must have the perfect job, endless amounts of money, the perfect marriage, the perfect life" but in reality I know that it can't be true. Everyone has their struggles, no ones marriage is perfect, not everyone loves their job every day, very few people have an endless supply of money, there are always constant struggles and a million to-do tasks --that is life! Thank you again for sharing!

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  27. Hey Anna just want to say you're doing a fantastic job. What you're feeling is the real side of parenting that not everyone talks about! I have 4 children, mostly grown now but 3 were close together and it's exhausting and sometimes soul destroying! But even when you feel so low and that you're failing at being a mum, you're doing an amazing job! Keep talking keep sharing never bottle it up you are never alone x much love to you and your beautiful family xxx

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  28. It's ok to not completely have your sh*t together at the moment, just roll with it. It will pass and you will look back at your amazing family and smile.

    Steph x
    www.wanderlustpulse.com

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  29. A lovely blog post Anna I really enjoyed reading it :):) :):) you are doing an amazing job Anna :):) :):)

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  30. Anna, I'm much older than you, I'm 43 and my children are now 18 and 14, and there are STILL days that I want to hit the wine bottle hard and come up only when things have calmed down lol
    It's just part of being a parent, and when you are at home, you never really get a break from anything, I often say that Monday, Tuesday, or Saturday and Sunday are the exact same things from me, I don't get a break from life, from being a mom or a wife etc. There are good days, there are bad days, my kids still manage to be one of the very few people who can bring me to tears quicker than anything else. The things that made me want to cry and scream at the top of my lungs when they were your kid's age, are still here, just different because their now grown. Wish people would understand that just because we're mothers, and love our jobs and our children, we are also human and there are days that it all seems to be falling apart, we feel like utter rubbish as moms and question everything we do....and then the next day it's paradise. It's a roller coaster for sure.
    Thank you for being so honest and saying what all mothers think and feel. Xx

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  31. LOVED this Anna. I know you dont have time to reply to everyone but I just want you to know that we are all here for you and have complete patience if ever things get too hard. Do what makes you happy and do what you love xx

    www.petiteelliee.com

    Ellie xx

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  32. Well done you for being so open and honest and not pretending that life is perfect.I know too well how stressful life can be and add kids to mix it multiplies the stress X100. I think the fact that you opened up about getting overwhelmed is amazing because we always try and encourage people to open up and talk and not bottle everything up inside. You have three beautiful kids and while they may not be angels all the time they truely are a credit you and Jonathan at how happy and healthy they are. I've got a daughter the same age as Emilia and even with just one its stressful and I just forget to breath... xxxx

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  33. This is what I always loved about you. You keep it real and this is why I decided to do the same on my blog. Its not always rainbows and butterflies.. People want to see the good things in life, concentrate on the beautiful influencers on Instagram and pity themselves for no reason. Thank you for everything you do! You are a truly inspirational woman for all of us!

    over&out, Happy

    xxx

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  34. oh couldn't agree more. Children can be hard work there is no doubt about that! And it doesn't stop when they get older. My experience has been they become a little easier around 6-10 and then once they hit pre-teen and teen, they ramp up again. As much as we love them, there is no doubt that they can be hard work at times. You're not alone Anna, all mums feel like this from time to time.

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  35. Thank you!! Although I know this to be true, I think I needed a reminder because I'm totally in the same situation right now trying to juggle all the balls whilst feeling completely overwhelmed by them all. I have one and three year old boys and baby 3 on the way and I'm in a new, more demanding job and have just moved house. I feel like a complete car crash. Yet another mother of young children sent me an e-mail recently asking for my advice because I apparently look like I "have it all figured out". I literally laughed out loud. Thank you for being willing to share and remind us that's it's ok not to have it all together all of the time (or really any of it in my case...hahaha). xx

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  36. Girlfriend!!!!!!!!!! I 150% feel your pain. I'm in this same boat. Some days i feel like such a shitty mom! other days i feel on top of the game. Today in fact is my last day on ETSY. I made my business dream a reality and was very good at it. But at the end of the day it was too much and i could not mange working full time, being a wife and mom, my fashion blog, youtube and ETSY. ETSY was the most stressful to me and took the most time away from my kids and frankly it made me a grouch and full of anxiety beyond my control.

    when vendors would ship something late or i had customers that wanted orders expedited then got mad at me for saying no.......they would blow up my phone and email all hours of the night and i would just sit and cry .....because I'm not a machine. Im a real person with real feelings ....i just had to give it up. And today is my last day doing that and I feel such a weight lifted ya know.

    i think as mom's we all try to juggle too much sometimes and its OK to feel inadequate. Even like you said ....social media never shows the bad stuff. but everyone even though they don't show it had issues. One day in my church they said "you only see the highlight reel ....no one shows the behind the scenes parts of their life" and thats so true.......but you also aren't required to show that.

    In all honesty if you show the good stuff ....trolls will hate you....and if you show the bad stuff they will STILL hate on you. So you can never please everyone. screw them if they can't be nice. You share what you want and YOU DO YOU GIRL! I think like all us mom's you are doing great and your babies are happy and healthy and that is all that matters ya know!?!?! XOXOXOXO

    Erica Valentin
    www.EricaValentin.com

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Please be nice...the world could use some positivity! :)

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